By Myself
by Bleeding Mist
Summary: Yours is yours. Mine is mine. This body isn't yours. It's mine. I'll follow my own, not yours. I know the difference between good and evil. I might be evil because of my attitude but at least I'm not going far from killing someone, unlike you two...


Hospital boredom= this, a crappy fic =w=

I'd like to thank Aika-chan02 :3 Because of her,, I've been having character obsessions as well 8D *gives her a Ryan plushie as a present* Drei-huggaaaaaahhhhh xDD It won't be long when they tease me May-hugger 8D (Weh... Mehganon? *throws a tomato*) Corny,, I know =##u##=b"

I don't own GC and characters. I do, however, own this fic and an imaginary Lass plushie =A=a"

_Music Title: _Easier to Run_  
>ArtistBand_: Linkin Park

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><p><strong>X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X<strong>

"_Mom... Dad..." a 7-year old boy stared at the dead bodies of his parents confined inside a coffin. Tears came out of its hiding place, falling down on the glass that serves as a boundary between the boy and his dead mother._

_A hand suddenly rested itself on the boy's left shoulder. The youngster, in turn, faced his uncle with swollen blue eyes. "The funeral starts today." the man said solemnly while patting the boy's head. "Too bad no one came. Only us, your relatives."_

_The boy bowed his head. Silence took over for a few minutes, no one bothered breaking the deafening peace. His heart filled with sorrow and loneliness that no other human being can change into the opposite. "I... I should prepare myself now..." the youngster excused himself and went in his room, more tears spilling from his puffy eyes. He didn't bother crying when he sat down on his bed. "Mom... Dad... I hope you both are happy..." he murmured, choking back a few sobs._

**X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X**

_..._

_It's easier to run  
>Replacing this pain with something numb<br>It's so much easier to go  
>Than face all this pain here all alone<em>

_..._

"Are you really happy?" I asked the tombstones in front of me, anger flowing in my voice and whole body. Drifting in the evening air are millions of dust particles. The moon was full, illuminating some areas of the Serdin cemetery if not for the trees that was blocking the moon's view. A wind's gust was the only reply from my question. "The two of you... are the main reason why I'm like this..."

10 years passed since my parents died. Since then, my uncle and auntie raised me that I considered them as my parents. Nothing was left to me except hatred and loneliness. The sorrow disappeared and was replaced by anger when I realized a couple of things years ago. No one bothered befriending me when I'm at school. I didn't care much in the outside but inside, I was crying. Crying as if I was the child that appeared in that distant memory.

What's wrong with me? Why won't someone break this aching silence resting deep inside me? No answer... My question was left unanswered... Is it because I'm a son of two deadly killers that's why people avoid me?

"You never gave me a real and clear reason to my question..." venom dripped in my voice, my hands curl up, ready to punch the tombstones in front of me. "I really hope you two are 'happy' now... May those fallen souls 'befriend' you in the underworld..." the wind roared fiercely, which only resulted in intensifying the anger inside me. They must've heard what I've been saying the whole time. "Don't even ask me why I'm like this. Ask yourselves because you two made me suffer in silence..."

I placed a lock of silver hair behind my ear then walked away from the grave, my footsteps echoing in the whole place. The wind died and everything was quiet, as if numerous souls are watching you walk away from their final resting places. I keep on waiting for someone to break this feeling inside me. But as I keep on waiting, it only gets worse than before.

_..._

_Something has been taken from deep inside of me  
>The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see<br>Wounds so deep they never show they never go away  
>Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played<em>

_..._

Ringing filled my ears, awakening me from the limited eternal rest. From deadly black, dark blue filled my vision as I fluttered my very heavy eyes open. "Argh... 10 more minutes..." I mumbled annoyingly as my fist slammed the ringing thing shut. Cold air escaped from mouth satisfyingly as I once again closed my heavy eyelids. But not for long, because...

"Lass, it's already 5:30 in the morning. Hurry up."

School. Oh hell damn of the fact that I'm going to prison. I rather go to a real prison with bad-ass men and real police officers instead of seeing of my regular bad-ass classmates (boys only) and teachers. "Grr... Ok ok_...!_" like a drunk man, I jumped out of my messy bed then suddenly banged my head accidentally on the wall, only to double the feeling of tiredness. "Darn... Why do I need to go to school anyway?"

Being one of the emo kids at school, I'm obviously a person who doesn't talk too much, as well as a violent type of person. Physical injuries and destruction of school property are just one of my reckless deeds at school. That's why the teacher always gives me detention everyday because of those things. Not to mention my 'parents' get numerous phone calls from the principal, telling them of my violations. No matter how many violations I had ever since I'm still a 1st year high, my 'parents' never scold me for it because those words will only get out of my ears in a short period of time, even while listening.

As I staggered downstairs, auntie greeted me '_Ohaiyou_'. "Stop wearing eye shadow will you? You're already resembling a rugby boy's facial appearance." pale face and black bags are my type so what's the point? And as much as I crave to inhale rugby, I still need to control myself from using those if I don't wanna end up staying at the rehabilitation center. That's even worse than staying at school for 10 hours. "Now, go wash your eyes there." her finger pointed at the sink.

"For the hundredth time, I don't _and_ _never will _wear eye shadow. This is the natural color of my eye bags so you can't do anything about it." I snarled annoyingly, my head banged the wall in an attempt to sleep again. "Even if you search with patience at the pile of clothes and things inside my room, you'll never find it. It'll only break your patience I tell you."

"How am I going to search for it inside your room when you always keep it locked tight?" a tired cerulean eye opened lazily and stared at her for a while. Yeah, she's right. Her patience might even break like a thread when she sees how messy my room is. "Anyway, eat your breakfast already or it might get cold." she pointed a finger at a bowl of piping hot ramen resting on top of the table.

_..._

_(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
>(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)<br>(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
>(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)<br>(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
>(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)<br>(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
>(I would take all my shame to the grave)<em>

_..._

The tall white buildings that loomed ahead blocked the bright sunlight. Sighing in annoyance that I have to enter this place again, I began to walk faster, my bag slumped behind my shoulder.

It wasn't long when my black rubber shoes stepped on the white marble floor, hearing the students' loud chattering through my headphones. Wearing an expressionless face, I headed towards my locker, taking out the books and notebooks needed before throwing my bag inside it. "Good morning Lass!" a cheerful voice greeted behind.

"Hmph..." was all I said, not caring to face the girl. Turning to my heels, I walked straight towards my room, carrying all books and notebooks with one hand. My fist landed at the door, not caring to use the doorknob to open the said thing. At once, the students began to send millions of endless stares at me. "_Nani?_" I asked in a loud/annoyed voice. The students began to act uneasily as they heard my voice, returning to their activities.

"Hey look, it's that 'little girl' again." another annoying voice boomed behind, followed by a loud crack of a knuckle. "And you're wearing a headband this time? Gay..." at once, 3 loud voices began to laugh behind me.

Really, my anger reached into an intense level when Rico called me 'Gay'. Untying the knot located behind my neck, I said, "This isn't an ordinary female headband..." with that being said, the 'headband' hit his face full force. A small trickle of blood ran down his nose as he fell on the floor, unconscious. "Do you even think that a girl will wear a heavy metal headband?" I whispered, looking coldly at his unconscious form. His friends suddenly stopped laughing, their joy-filled faces turning at me nervously.

From the corner of my eye, I could see most of the class' stares darted to me. Their faces reveal the hidden shock that longed to get out of its hiding place. Silence crept for minutes, no one bothering to break the cold stillness as I continued to stare at the remaining two boys. "P-please don't hurt us Lass. We're sorry." one of the boys said pleadingly. Both their knees are already shaking but I continued to stare at them both coldly.

"Hmph..." I wrapped the headband around my knuckles, locking them as I clenched my fist. They gulped heavily, as my fist made contact with my other hand. My intention is to scare them, not hurt them, unless they said something harsh to me. "You might want to get out of here _alive _now... I'm not in the mood to deal with you two right now because it might lead to other things called murder." azure orbs blazed in anger because of the word 'murder'. "And I assure you, _this is no empty threat._" I wouldn't be surprised if I heard gasps coming from my classmates. The school knows of my rule 'Once I say it, I do it'.

The boys took a step backwards in horror. They took Rico then ran to the school clinic. Silence took over, me, not caring to be stared by my classmates. "Lass..." a girl with braided blonde locks whispered behind. Lire. "You're getting too much... What's happening to you?" her arms encircled themselves on my waist. Twitching in annoyance, I forcefully yanked away her arms then walked away to the classroom.

_Rooftop_

Assassinate... Slaughter... Kill... Those words rang in my head like a bell. My parents...

_... because it might lead to other things called murder._

_... this is no empty threat._

My parents' deadly blood are now running in my veins... I'm turning into one of them... Why of all the words to say, my mouth blotted out the word I've feared? I promised myself that I won't go far... go far to kill... give someone a death threat... But I broke it, enough for me to stomp and punch the rooftop completely.

"Damn it!" I stomped again loudly before sitting down, head buried on top of my knees as my fingers entwined themselves on top of my head. The sitting position made me think of a prisoner in jail.

Prisoner... in jail... With all of the physical injuries I've did to others, and the school destruction, I deserve to be in that place... even if I still haven't killed someone... "I don't want to be like the two of you... Just leave me alone..." small tears are already forming at the corner of my eyes but I kept my head bowed. Someone please act quickly before I couldn't control myself anymore... "This is your entire fault... I won't let your 'words of wisdom' poison my mind..."

_..._

_It's easier to run  
>Replacing this pain with something numb<br>It's so much easier to go  
>Than face all this pain here all alone<em>

_..._

The sun rose high in the blue skies, clouds floating in the never-ending highway of blue atmosphere. Ever since morning, I never went down the rooftop. It's a perfect place for me to spend a quality time alone, no teachers hearing their voices over and over again discussing things in either blackboard or book. I spent most of my time sitting and staring at the busy people below. Innocent people, whose precious lives were taken away by the city's ever-wanted deadly assassins, specifically my parents. They never trained me to be one, but now... I guess all of that will change.

My footsteps suddenly stepped on theirs, exploring their own deadly world, rather than exploring the good... There's no turning back now... I don't want to be one of them... I rather end myself rather than end someone's life.

_This is no empty threat._

"Tsk..." I really should have been more careful in my words. Now that I said it, they'll fear me because once I say it, I do it.

I stared at my hands, mostly covered in black cloth if not for the holes that allows my fingers to pass through. I... Am I staring at the hands of a future killer? Can these hands really be the same of a murderers'?

"Nnngghh..." my heart felt weak.

_I'm not in the mood to deal with you two right now because it might lead to other things called murder._

"Damn it..." I bowed my head, entwining my hands behind my neck in a defeated way. I can still take control of my actions. Those are just words but...

**X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X**

"_Watching the news again Arme?" a 4-year old silver-haired boy groaned, sitting down on the couch beside the small purple-haired girl. From the bored looks of his face, it was quite obvious that he's uninterested in watching the news._

"_Lassie-kun, this will tell me of the latest happenings in the city! Not only that, I'm watching this because I'm afraid that mommy will meet an accident." her small voice said, amethyst orbs not taking its sight of the lighted screen._

"_You're over-worrying Arme..." the boy muttered, staring at the screen without any taste of interest. Until..._

'_A body of a woman, Minasaki Glenstid, found dead inside her office room in Mikichiro Co.. From the looks of her wound, the woman was mysteriously stabbed to death on her back. Serdin Police Force failed to find any clues inside her room nor explain the woman's mysterious death. The police force can only say that she was another one of the victims of the wanted assassins.'_

_Upon hearing the news, Lass looked at Arme, who's face was very pale. Tears forming at the corner of her eyes and lips quivering in fear. Even the silver-haired boy couldn't believe what he's hearing. His mother told him a forbidden secret that shouldn't be revealed to anyone._

"_M-mommy..." the little girl turned off the television, bursting into tears as she hugged her playmate. The boy was shaking in fright, his mind in complete turmoil. What did Arme's family did to his own? What did her mother did to them? "W-why does... she have to... b-be with their victims...? We never... d-did anything to them...!"_

_The sapphire-eyed boy patted his friend's shoulder. She continued to cry, until the family maid opened the front door and saw her 'baby' crying. "My goodness Arme!" the woman exclaimed, running towards the crying child. "What happened to her Lass? Why is she crying?"_

_The girl never stopped. She hugged the maid and continued her sobs. Lass gave a distressed sigh, telling the maid the news they watched. "Arme's mother... was murdered by the wanted assassins..." he said solemnly._

_The maid suddenly turned pale. Her soft patting on the girl's back stopped. "Mrs. Glenstid?" a single roll of tear cascaded down the female's white cheeks as the boy gave a nod. "S-she was just like a sister to me... May she rest in peace..."_

_Arme quieted down. She stopped crying and was now sleeping peacefully. There was silence for a few minutes, then Lass stood up from the couch. "I'll be going home now. Arme's already asleep and my mom's gonna get worried that I'm still not home." he walked away, hearing an 'Ok, be careful!' from the maid._

_As soon as he went out of the house, a feeling of anger rushed inside the little boy's body. He gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, fighting any tears that are supposed to cascade down his cheeks now. Unable to control his feelings, he ran down the streets instead of walking. "Why does it has to be Ma'am Glenstid? She has absolutely done nothing to us... Why her...?"_

**X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X**

_..._

_Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past  
>Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have<br>Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back  
>And never moving forward so there'd never be a past<em>

_..._

"_Arme-chan..._" her family left for Kanavan City the following week after her mother died. It hurt me so much that she was leaving the village back then. She was my only friend in the neighbourhood that time... I hope she's not one of my parents' victims.

"You would go far killing the mother of my friend huh? Go to hell..." I said angrily, staring at the sky. The winds are forceful, silver hair hitting my face several times. It shows they never even cared if their victims are relatives of my friends. "Worthless.." If only I am allowed to slash my surname... Having a name without any surname sounds fine for me. Born in this world carrying a killers' name irritates me to a no end.

I didn't notice the time that flew by. It was like I'm sitting here for just 10-15 minutes when the sun started to go down. Streaks of red and yellow filled the darkening sky. I guess school's over by now... I probably should take my bag then head home.

_..._

_(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
>(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)<br>(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
>(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)<br>(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
>(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)<br>(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
>(I would take all my shame to the grave)<em>

_..._

It's not really surprising to see the school corridor empty. Some of the students must be home now, or hanging out in the mall or play games in the nearby computer shops. As I slammed close my locker, something metal suddenly fell on the corridor: a forehead protector. A sigh escaped from my closed lips. "There you are..." I said, walking towards the said item. Seeing that there was nothing wrong with it, I tied it on my forehead, the metal hanging slightly diagonally then the usual straight horizontal.

I was about to leave the building when an chuckle erupted somewhere. "Do you think we're gonna let go of you easily?" I recognized the voice belonging to Rico. Sigh, I guess he wanted some payback from earlier huh? "Not after you whacked that thing on my face earlier, we're not gonna let you out."

"Just get out from your hiding places cowards." as I placed both hands on my pocket, I couldn't help but feel something sharp inside. Cold, kinda long (about the length of my arm), and sharp... There's two of them inside my pocket. I don't remember bringing these things earlier... What could these be?

A cold blood ran to my veins, telling me to use it. _N-no... _What are these things doing in my pants? Could these be dad's weapons? "If you must know Lass, we're about 5 here hiding. Are you sure?" 5 makes no difference. I encountered worst than this... Sighing, I closed my eyes and concentrated hard on hearing their footsteps. "You, closing your eyes in danger? How completely pathetic!" then laughter echoed in the empty halls.

_..._

_Just washing it aside  
>All of the helplessness inside<br>Pretending I don't feel misplaced  
>It's so much simpler than change<em>

_..._

"Why can't you just move right now and beat me? I'm already closing my eyes you know." heh... As if you can even place a single touch on me... "Well if you're not gonna move, I will." but I kept standing in my spot, concentrating hard on their location. I don't have any intention of using the blades in my pockets. Just the normal hand-to-hand combat if they don't have any weapons themselves.

No movement. "Ok, you asked for it." I'm sorry if your body will land onto your friend unexpectedly... The nearest: the trash bin. My footsteps echoed in the hallway as I walked towards the trash. "Hmph..." I said quietly, seeing something white hanging behind the bin. I kicked the trashbin violently, earning the expected 'Ouch!'. "Four more to go..." I said while throwing the said body of the boy towards the locker, where two more bodies fell unconsciously. That makes it three. "Heh... This is enough for a warm up..." I smirked, obviously having real fun.

Sensing a boy about to punch me behind, I raised my right arm forcefully, successful in hitting him in his forehead. "Ouch!" turning around, I grabbed both of his shoulders before my knee landed on his balls, then another one on his tummy. He fell on the floor, unconscious.

A light chuckle escaped from my lips. One more to go and I'm out of this dump. Sensing that Rico is hiding at the nearest room, which is the Guidance Counselor's, I mockingly searched for him, stopping at the office with my back facing it. "Come out Rico. It's over. You're the only one left conscious you know..."

A gasp was suddenly heard and I smirked, partially turning around and found him standing behind the door. Nonetheless, I kicked the door forcefully and went inside. Grabbing him by his hair, I was about to punch him when he placed both his hands in front of him for mercy. "P-please don't! I-I'm sorry Lass! I won't do it again!" the school's bully begging for mercy at the school emo? That's just too weird. I guess it's because of my horrible anger and his cowardness for not striking first that's why he ended up begging.

Slamming him on the wall, I said, "I'll leave you and your gang. The next time you 'play' me, it'll be harder than you thought..." slumping my bag behind me, I walked out of the corridor. Well, this day certainly is a little different from being ordinary. No detention, no violation slips... Without those two, my day wouldn't be completely ordinary and I would call it weird.

_..._

_It's easier to run  
>Replacing this pain with something numb<br>It's so much easier to go  
>Than face all this pain here all alone<em>

_..._

_The next time you 'play' me, it'll be harder than you thought..._

I stopped walking, staring at the already darkening sky as I inhaled the air. Well at least I managed to practice my hand-to-hand combat with those fools. I certainly won't use these blades inside my pockets. A promise is a promise. I made a promise to myself in the first place... Not to follow my parent's footsteps. Leaving someone unconscious is enough. Spare someone's life, giving threats are enough for a discipline.

Sure, I am crying at their death when I was still a kid, but not now. Not when my mind realized that the two of them are no good assassins who killed people just for money and needs. I don't care about my feelings. Even if they did their best to make me happy, the hurt inside me won't leave... not in a million years will it leave its resting place. My life will continue without any twinge of happiness in it... I'll live and die possessing deep hatred for the two of them because of their terrible deeds.

Remembering something, I took out the blades out of my pockets. Two daggers, covered in dried blood... Sapphire eyes stared at them coldly, not knowing what to do with them. With anger in my feelings, I went to a cliff. The blue waves slapped the rocks below, pleading the large wall of rock to let them pass. _So much like my parents and I... _"Sorry, I don't take dirty gifts. Especially when the thing's covered in an _innocent_ person's dried blood." glaring at the orange horizon, I threw the blades away.

"You can't force me..." A strong wind passed by, the grass behind me dancing wildly whilst my silver hair whipped my face gently. "to kill someone..." I whispered in anger, walking away from the cliff.

Yours is yours. Mine is mine. This body isn't yours. It's mine. I'll follow my own, not yours. I know the difference between good and evil. I might be evil because of my attitude but at least I'm not going far from killing someone, unlike you two...

_..._

_It's easier to run  
>(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)<br>(Retrace every wrong move that I made)  
>It's easier to go<br>(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)  
>(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)<br>(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)  
>(I would take all my shame to the grave)<em>

_..._

**X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X-x-X**

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><p>I'm sure all of you are thinking 'This doesn't even make any sense at all!' 'What a horrible fic!'<p>

Sorry for writing this piece poorly (Since when did I wrote a fic _un_poorly? m=A=a) I'm confined again in the hospital (until now) and underwent another operation because of my stomach being tied up completely =A= resulting to me feeling as if I'm punched by someone =.= The doctor says this is a side-effect of my previous operation last August. Hope this is the last =w=a

Back to the fic,, my mind's been hazy because of all the medicines injected to me so sorry if this one's bad. At least I tried my best 8DDDa" RRE OuO


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